Happiness is not the absence of problems; it’s the ability to deal with them.
Steve Maraboli
Letting people go is really hard. No one wants to feel alone. Sometimes loneliness is what you need in order to find yourself. For the longest time I’ve changed who I am in order to fit in with others. I’ve always had to fight hard in order to not be forgotten, or left behind. Why am I exhausting myself in a fight that I cannot win? I hold on so tight to things that may be bad for me because I’m so scared of being alone. I know that I will always have my family, and they mean everything to me. Although, sometimes you need friendship too. It’s been many years since I’ve felt this way, and it’s a feeling that I never, ever want to feel again. I will never open myself up to the possibility of friendship again. This pain is too real, and too intense that it doesn’t make the good times worth it. My daughter, my partner and my family deserve my energy. I deserve my energy. Life will go on, and maybe I will be a little bit more lonely than I once was. I know the pain will fade eventually, but sadly the memories will remain. I wish I knew the right way to deal with this situation, but I suppose thats a lesson that I still have to learn.
Xoxo, B.
Motherhood in the Raw 