Happy New Year! I know I’ve been gone for a hot minute, but thats not what I’m here to talk about today. Today I want to reflect on the decade that we all just said goodbye to while it’s still early in the New Year. Better late than never right? I think today’s blog will be only a reflection, year by year, and the next one will be about the decade to come and all that I hope will be. So if you’re interested in a little bit of my backstory, and my journey over the last decade than read on, and maybe try to remember some of your best times through the last ten years.
2010:
My first year of High School and the year that I started dating the love of my life. C and I started dating in April of 2010, when we were just little things. Truly one of the best years of my life. I remember being so nervous to start High School, but once I got there everything clicked. C and I actually didn’t go to the same school, and thats probably why we didn’t connect until April. It wasn’t love at first sight thats for sure (lol), but once he persuaded me to give him a chance I fell hard and fast. There was just nobody like him. It was the summer of 2010 where I really fell hard in love with him, and thought to myself. Maybe this is my person, at fifteen years old.
Favourite Song of 2010: Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars
2011:
If I’m being honest 2011 wasn’t the most memorable year for me. My second year of High School, I was basically just going through the motions. I remember C and I started having a lot of issues at the end of 2010/ early 2011 and I think thats something that clouds my memories from that time. Although I do remember that we were stronger than ever by the summer of 2011.
Favourite Song of 2011: We Found Love by Rhianna
2012:
Similar to 2011, nothing in particular really jumps out at me about 2012. I know it was the year that I got Instagram for the first time. My third year of High School, and things with C were definitely starting to become serious. I do remember that it was his prom at his school that year, my first prom experience. By 2012 I had built strong friendships, with many people who are still very much apart of my life to this day.
Favourite Song of 2012: Ho Hey by the Lumineers
2013:
Oh 2013, this is a year with many memories, and feelings attached. I could probably go on forever about 2013. This was the year that I graduated from High School, had my prom and went on my grad trip with my best friends. So many memories were made, and this year felt like the year that my life would truly begin. Don’t get me wrong, this year had a lot of ups and downs with C and I. We went through things that we’ve never been through before. Things I wont get into on here, but it was bad for a little bit especially at the beginning of the year. By the summer of 2013 though we worked everything out, and things were looking up. It was really a great year.
Favourite Song of 2013: Home, by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
2014:
2014 was one the hardest year of my life by far. I found out that I was pregnant in early February of 2014. It was an absolute shock for both C and I. We were also still in a bit of a rocky place from the previous year, and we were so scared. Although terrified, we knew we wanted the baby and we were going to make the best of it. In early April I found out my baby had passed inside of me. I had surgery April 8 2014 to removed my deceased baby from my body. It was truly traumatic, for many many years after. 2014 was really hard, I can’t remember much good from that year. The one positive memory I have is of the Katy Perry concert. I went with my best friend, and it was one of the best nights of my life.
Favourite Song of 2014: Stay with me, by Sam Smith
2015:
2015 was a good year. It was the first time C and I moved out of our parents house to a home of our own. We spent time together and recovered from our pain from the previous year. We made a lot of memories in that home. It was a little bit rough for me in the friend department. My best friend went away to school, and I felt forgotten for quite some time. Our friendship struggled in the years to come, but I now know that everything happens for a reason. We also got our dog Oliver at the end of 2015!
Favourite Song of 2015: Wildflowers by Tom Petty
2016:
The year my niece was born. Something about new life coming into the world is so inspiring. I was worried when I found out that my sister in law was pregnant. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to be happy for her because of what happened to me, but I was; and I loved that little girl so much when I met her for the first time. Although there was some happiness, overall 2016 was an extremely hard year for me. I struggled so bad with my mental health at this time. I was so depressed, and I felt like I had lost all of my friends. I was probably in the darkest place I’ve ever been in at this time. At the end of the year we actually moved back in with my parents, in a new home. I think that helped get me out of my depression a little bit.
Favourite Song of 2016: Closer by the Chainsmokers
2017:
2017 was probably the craziest year of my life. I went through so much growth this year. I accepted that my friendships with certain people were not the same anymore, and it was ok. I got closer with some new friends, and I genuinely tried to be happy again. I finally learned to accept my miscarriage for what it was, and I stopped blaming myself. In May of 2017 I took my first trip since 2013. I went on my first cruise to Alaska with all of the women in my family. It was a really great trip that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Summer of 2017 was probably one of the best summers of my life. With endless cottage trips, sun kissed skin and good friends. Then August, the month that changed my life forever. On August 13 2017 I found out I was pregnant. It was the most terrified, excited and blessed I’ve ever felt in my life that morning when I took that pregnancy test. I was so excited for what was possibly going to come from this, and terrified of losing another life within my womb.
Favourite Song of 2017: I Get to Love You, by Ruelle
2018:
The absolute best year of my life. April 8 2018 my life changed forever when the doctors placed my living, breathing beautiful baby girl on my chest. A was born, a perfect 5lb 14oz bundle of pure joy. No moments from any years prior could even compare to that moment. 2018 was overall the best year of the decade for me. Not only did I become a mother, but I also reconnected with my old friends that I thought I had lost. C and I moved out of my parents place and finally got our first ever home just the three of us, no more roommates. I had so much fun in 2018, and I was the most mentally stable I’ve ever been in my life. 2018 is a year that I never want to forget.
Favourite Son of 2018: Never Grow Up, by Taylor Swift
2019:
Oh 2019, probably my most hot and cold year of the decade. I cannot say that it was a bad year, because it was filled with so many wonderful moments. My beautiful girl turned a year old, C and I got engaged, and my grandmother came to visit from across the country. I got to watch A grow from a baby into the sweet little girl that she is now. We had another niece born into the family, just weeks before Christmas. Looking at 2019 as a whole I would say it was an amazing year. The only thing keeping me from giving it a 10/10 is my own mental health struggles. I had some of the worst panic attacks of my life this past year. It got bad enough that I am now making it my absolute mission to be better moving forward. I’ve realized the only one holding me back from greatness is myself. I learned a lot in 2019, and I’m thankful for every experience I’ve had in the last decade.
Favourite Song of 2019: Beautiful Crazy, by Luke Combs
This past decade was definitely the most detrimental to the becoming of who I am. I literally grew up in the last ten years. I went from a child to a full grown woman with a family. I’ve loved, I’ve lost. I’ve laughed and I’ve cried. I’ve experienced some of the greatest things life has to offer. I’ve learned more about myself then I ever imagined I could. I’ve grown immensely. I cannot wait to see what the next ten years brings. I’m ready to completely grow all over again, and I’m ready for new experiences. Bring it on 2020’s, I’m ready for you.
xoxo, B.
Motherhood in the Raw 