moms who blog – Motherhood in the Raw

Toddler Activities for COVID-19

As all of us parents know being isolated to your house with children isn’t the easiest thing in the world. It’s so important for us to do our part, even if that means going a little bit stir crazy. Today I’m going to share with you some of my favourite activities that I do with A to keep us busy at home.

Help Make Mommy Breakfast
A absolutely loves helping in the kitchen. I find when I let her help me make breakfast in the morning it sets both of our days off on the right foot. A is the type of toddler who loves to help, I can tell it gives her a sense of purpose. I let her do things like put berries on her plate, help flip the egg, butter the toast. Allowing her to help do these tasks not only helps her learn, but makes her excited about eating a healthy balanced meal.
Imaginary Play
One of my favourite things to do with A is watch her use her imagination. We make up silly little games with her babies and she has so much fun. One of our faves is playing doctor. She will line up all her babies and she checks their heart and their ears and I can just see her little brain gears turning.
Painting, Play Doh & Drawing
A loves being artistic in so many different ways. She really loves painting and Play Doh. It allows her to explore different colours and textures all while getting messy. Since Easter is right around the corner we’ve been doing a lot of Easter themed crafts. Even something as simple as painting foam eggs is a super fun way to get creative while being festive.
Obstacle Course
You can make an obstacle course inside or outside using a variety of things. If you have hoola hoops, jump ropes and pylons its super easy to arrange them in your backyard to have your little one jump and run through all of the obstacles. If you don’t have a large outdoor space you can also create one inside using colourful tape. Simply put the tape on the floor in straight lines, zig zags and other shapes for your little one to explore. I’ll link some Pinterest links down below to give you a visual representation of this one.
Outdoor Obstacle Course
Indoor Obstacle Course
Nature Scavenger Hunt
A super easy way to have some fun is a nature scavenger hunt. Theres tons of templates online you can print out with photos of birds, sticks, trees and other things that you can find on a simple walk outside. Have your little ones find something from their list out in the real world. They’ll think its pretty awesome when they’re able to find what their looking for.
Practising Mindfulness
It’s so important to teach our children how to be mindful of the world. The world is a scary place right now and it’s important to educate our children. If you have kids old enough to understand whats going on you should sit down and talk about it. Talk about what it means to be isolated, and why social distancing is so important. If your children are too young to understand, like A, there are still so many different mindful activities you can do. Even just going for a walk and pointing out the things you see. Acknowledging that the grass is green, and the smell of the cool breeze are super important things to teach our kids.

Times are tough right now but that doesn’t mean we have to worry 24/7. Our kids still need some sense of normality and it’s important that we don’t let our anxieties get the best of us. If you try any of the activities I listed above I would love to see a photo! Take a photo of your isolation games and tag me on Instagram @motherhoodintheraww so we can all still feel connected while we distance ourselves physically. Don’t forget that we’re all in this together.

Xoxo, B

Dear Diary: Ep. 1

Hi friends, thanks for clicking on my new blog post. If you’ve been following me since the beginning then you’ve probably realized that this blog has turned more mental health than motherhood. Since I’ve started this blog I’ve been working on myself hard core, and there has been a lot of ups and downs. Something that has been a huge part of my life has been daily journaling, and I thought I would share some of those journal entries here on my new segment called Dear Diary. I want you to know that if you’re struggling it is ok, and you’re not alone. We are all growing and evolving on our own clocks, and we all have such a unique, personal way of thinking. I don’t want anyone to ever feel like they have to follow anyone else’s way of thinking to be on the right path. Sometimes I know that I can feel like I’m running a marathon with those around me, and everyone is miles ahead of me. I keep running as fast as I can, trying to keep up with fear in the back of my mind. Fear of being left behind, or forgotten by those that I love. We need to remember that those who truly love us back wont leave us behind. They will adjust their pace slightly to allow us to catch up, and they will embrace us once we finally reach the finish line. I know that was a long introduction to this new segment, but it felt necessary to me, because these diary entries are super important to me.

Dear Diary: Ep. 1:
It’s time to inhale the good and the happy, and exhale the bullshit. Manifest the life that you desire. Manifest happiness and self love. Your path doesn’t have to look like your peers, you create your own happiness. Follow your heart, not the crowd. See your inner beauty, and thank God for making you this way. Help people like you need to be helped. Reach out, make an effort. Be loving and be loved. Choose the pursuit of happiness, not perfection. Maybe simply being happy is enough. Maybe loving yourself is magic.

I wrote that while I was having a very tough day mentally. The depression was taking over ever fibre of my being and I thought I was going to be stuck in it all day. Writing is so therapeutic for me. It allows me to get my thoughts out in an organized way, instead of having them race around my mind 1000 miles a minute. I know this one was short, but it is so powerful to me. I want to create an army of mental health warriors, that would probably be my “mission statement” for this blog. I want people to know that you’re perfect just the way you are. Personal growth is important, and it’s empowering, but its also just that, personal. Next time you feel like you’re evolving “too slowly” or like everyone around you is moving on and leaving you in their dust I want you to read this blog post. I want you to remember that you’re time for mental clarity will come, and it will taste that much sweeter because you know that you will have worked your ass off for it. For now keep on shining, and keep on loving yourself through every up, and every down.

xoxo, B.

NO BAKE Energy Bites

Hi welcome back to Motherhood In The Raw, thanks for clicking! I know I’m not a food blog, but I’m here today with this recipe because it will save moms lives, and energy. My biggest pet peeve is when I’m in a rush to find a recipe and I’m forced to read through 7 pages of why the poster just loves every ingredient so much, so I’m going to keep it short and sweet. These energy bites are healthy, easy, fast to make, and very easily modified to suit a vegan diet. They’re the perfect snack to prep at the beginning of the week to keep you going during your busy days. Moms love them, kids love them, its a win-win situation if you ask me!

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups Old Fashioned Oats
3/4 cups Natural Nut Butter (I used peanut butter)
1/4 cup Honey (substitute maple syrup for vegan)
Dark Chocolate Chips (to taste)
1 tsp Nutmeg

Oats w nutmeg, Honey, PB, Chocolate Chips

Directions:
Start by measuring out all of your oats and pouring them into a large mixing bowl.
Then add the nutmeg (or whatever flavour you prefer) into the oats and combine.
Add the honey, nut butter and chocolate chips one at a time into the mixing bowl with the oats.

Then combine all of the ingredients together. This step is a bit tricky because these ingredients don’t tend to mix very easily. I started mixing with a spatula, and then once most of the honey and nut butter were combined I used my hands to mix it further.
Once the ingredients are thoroughly combined then place a large piece of parchment paper down on your working station. The parchment helps the balls set slightly without sticking to your surface.
Use an ice cream scoop (or your hands) to roll the mixture into balls and place them on the parchment paper.
You can place them in the freezer for about 5-10 minutes after you’ve made them all into balls, which will help harden them slightly.
Store in an airtight container for up to a week at room temperature, or 2 weeks in the fridge.

Helpful Tips:
Make a double or triple batch and store the extras in the freezer to save time in the future.
I found it most useful to use my hands when forming the balls, although as soon as too much residue got on my hands from the bites I was unable to roll them into balls anymore. Wash and dry your hands fully after every 5ish balls to prevent this from happening.
Make different flavours! The flavour possibilities are honestly endless with these suckers. Pinterest is a great place for inspiration.

I hope you enjoyed my first ever recipe here on my blog! I know you and your kiddos will love these healthy little snacks just as much as we did. Be sure to leave me a comment if you decide to make them, and let me know how yours turned out. I plan to do more recipes in the future of my go-to meals for my family and I. Although I know this may not be a food blog I am totally a foodie myself, and I love to share the awesome recipes that I find!

xoxo, B.

New Year, New B.

I know, I know. It’s a bit of cliche, the whole mantra of new year new me, but for some reason this year feels different. In years past I never really understood the idea of a new year meaning new opportunities for growth, and now I think I get it. I have a lot of hopes, and good feelings about the year to come. Over the last decade I really discovered who I am, but my work is not yet done. I desperately want 2020 to be the year that I figure it all out. I want to find my passion, I want to create great things. I want all the cloudiness and confusion to disappear. I have to be honest, I’m not the best at self discovery, or being assertive enough to go after what I really want. I tend to stick to the sidelines and watch as everyone around me achieves greatness. I want 2020 to be the year that I say enough.

My Goals for 2020:

Get my body to a happy, healthy size
Find my passion, and figure out how to make a living out of it
Quit my current job
Find a therapist
Develop a healthy routine
Save 20% of all of my paycheques
Let loose, and have fun more often

I tried to keep my goals this year reasonable and attainable. This is just a sample list out of my journal, where I have categories for all areas of my life. I’ve been keeping a journal since January 1st. It has all of my goals, and my daily thoughts and feelings. I’ve been writing positive affirmations about myself every morning, to remember how badass I am already; and how badass I can become. I’ve also been writing down a daily to-do list, which has really been helping me be less lazy. I just want to look back at the end of the year and be proud. Be proud that I did my very best for myself, and for my daughter.

I’m experiencing a clarity that I haven’t felt in a really long time. Even on my bad days I’ve been able to cope extremely better than before. The road to self discovery is long, but the destination will be so, so worth it. I hold on to hope that no matter what hardships life throws at me its all for the bigger picture, the greater good if you will. I know I have some larger decisions to make this year, ones I’m not quite ready to talk about on here. Choices that will change the entire path that I’ve been on until this point. I’m ready for big changes, and even bigger rewards.

Today I challenge you to start your own 2020 journal. Write it all down. Write down your goals and your dreams. Write down all of your thoughts, the good and the bad. Write until it makes sense, until you can see things a little bit more clearly. I honestly cant believe how much its helped me, in just eight days. Take a little bit of time to do something for yourself each day, and learn to love yourself. We are honestly all we have, if we can’t love ourselves how can we expect anyone else to love us?

Make this your year.

xoxo, B.

Tired As A Mother

I have a confession to make and I’m not proud. I used to think moms that complained about sleep deprivation were kind of just complaining, I mean how bad can it really be? Well, my friends theres this called karma, and it hit me hard right in the ass. Sleep deprivation is a real thing, and its so much harder to deal with when you’re trying to also keep a tiny human alive everyday. A’s sleep has gone down hill hard and fast. If I’m being honest I seriously feel like I’m starting to fall apart. Being a mom is already so hard, and when you mix in only getting four hours of sleep at night its a recipe for disaster.

These past few weeks I’ve really been prioritizing my mental health and getting my mental to a place that I’m really proud of. I already feel my efforts starting to slip away solely due to sleep deprivation. I have no motivation to do my usual morning routine of positive affirmations while I enjoy my coffee. All I seem to be able to do these days is get myself from my bed to the couch. I dread having to make A breakfast in the morning, and I no longer have the energy to play with her. My patients with her is extremely thin, every time she whines or cries I want to snap at her, and it takes everything in me not to. This feeling of not being able to function like a normal person is really starting to take its toll. It’s been about 2 weeks of constant terrible sleep, and I’m at my wits end. I don’t understand, why don’t they just f*#king sleep?

I suppose this is the universe testing me to see if my efforts in improving my mental state has really worked. I have to say I am proud, and I do think I’ve made improvements. Six months ago if I were going through this I know I wouldn’t even be able to function at all. I would have been constantly yelling, crying and sending concerning texts to my loved ones. I used to really struggle with rage and sleep deprivation would always make it so much worse. Now I take a moment in the mornings to understand that I am exhausted, and it sucks, it really sucks. I’ve accepted that in this moment there is simply nothing I can do about the fact that A doesn’t feel the need to sleep anymore, and I have no choice but to deal with it. What I do have a choice in is how I manage my feelings about the situation.

My point of this post is to say this; next time you pass judgements on a mom for complaining about being tired stop yourself in your tracks. Moms need support, and we need to feel validated and understood. We need to stand together and support each other in anyway we know how. Sleep deprivation is real, struggles with mental health are real. When you combine the two it can result in a recipe for disaster, and you can feel like you’re falling into a deep hole, unsure of how you’ll be able to escape. Before I became a mom I would judge moms. All. The. Time. I would judge them for complaining about anything that had to do with being a mom, because well how could they complain? I had a miscarriage, I lost my baby so how dare they complain about theirs. Through healing over the years and growing older and more mature I’ve learned so much. You can’t undermine someone else’s pain and struggles because you’re also hurting.

Let us stand together, hand in hand. Let us listen to each other, and try to understand each others pain. I promise once we unite ourselves and support all moms no matter how different they are from you is when we will all find validation. Next time your mom friend texts you freaking out because her baby just wont sleep, and she’s never felt exhaustion like this try to understand her. Try to remember when your child was small, try to remember how it felt to feel alone in this, and do something to help ease her pain. We need to love and support each other because feeling alone, like you’re the only one in the world going through this is the hardest part of it all.

Love and support will always be more powerful than the most deprived sleep, or the strongest toddler tantrums. My challenge for you today is to reach out to a struggling mama. Tell her she’s doing a good job, tell her she worthy and she is powerful. It might just make more of a difference in her day than you think.

xoxo, B.

A’s Eighteen Month Update

Today my baby is one and a half and I don’t know how this happened. Wasn’t it just moments ago that her tiny little body was apart of my own? I’m stuck in this strange limbo of feeling like I’ve known her forever, and feeling like this has all happened in a blink of an eye. Now I know it may seem strange that my first update for A is coming at 18 months but I just started this blog recently, and better late than never right? Also, I feel like I’ve gone through a great amount of personal growth these past few months, and I now have this uncontrollable desire to document everything. Enough about me, lets talk about who my baby girl is becoming.

A’s Development:

This little girl has always been slower on the physical development, and ahead in the mental areas so lets talk about what she’s doing now. She’s been walking for awhile but now she’s mastered that skill. She runs, and walks everywhere, and she’s constantly trying to climb everything. She is starting to try jumping also, but that one is still a work in progress. Her accident happened at 15 months and her scars are already healing beautifully. (Blog post to come on that next.) Her hair is getting longer and longer, but it is still quite thin and difficult to work with. Our favourite hairstyle is a crazy ponytail on top of her head. She’s mostly wearing size 12-18 months, although she’s rather difficult to properly fit clothes. A is very long and skinny, so I often find her pants are either too short or way too big in the waist. She can still fit in 6-9 month button onesies and t-shirts, and she wears size 5 shoes.

She still doesn’t sleep through the night, although last night she did great so maybe its coming? I wont hold my breathe LOL. She typically wakes 1-2 times in the night for a bottle, and then she will wake for the day around 6:30. She does sleep in her own bed though, and has since about 8 months old. She likes to sleep with a white noice sound machine on, and she still uses a sleepsack .The only other thing in her bed is a small lamb lovey that she likes to cuddle. I’ve always been very passionate about safe sleeping, and she probably wont use a regular blanket until she’s in a big girl bed, which will still be quite awhile. She takes one 2-3 hour nap in the afternoons. She does still use a pacifier at night and throughout the day. She was getting better with not needing it during the day, but we’ve had a bit of regression in that department. I know there is a lot of opinions about pacifiers, and trust me I hear it often but right now I’m sticking to my own gut and intuition and I simply don’t think its time to take it away yet.

Her favourite toys are her baby dolls at the moment, but she also loves to colour and play in her play kitchen. She is an amazing eater and has been since six months old. There isn’t much that she wont eat, her favourite things are cheese and pasta. I’ve always made a conscious effort to include all food groups in everyone of her meals because that should be the norm for all kids in my opinion.

A says a ton of words, probably around 40 and she’s starting to try and put words together. She already has wonderful manners and uses please and thank you in the right context (most of the time). She is a massive mamas girl, even more recently. She’s an angel whenever I’m not around but when mama is in sight she’s sucky and whiney most of the time. She knows she has me wrapped around her finger, and she uses it to her advantage. In the last few months she’s mastered the art of the temper tantrum and she throws them multiple times a day, preparing me for the years to come I suppose. She is a very strong willed child, she knows what she wants and she wont stop until she gets it. She is constantly seeking out adventure, and she does amazing whenever we’re out of the house. She’s always been a great shopping buddy, and luckily has never created any kind of scene out in public, other than yesterday when she emptied a carton of eggs onto the grocery store floor which she was pretty proud of. She is a huge lover of nature and being outside. She would be happy if we could spend an entire day at the park or the zoo.

This girl is a mischief maker, and you have to keep a close eye on her at all times (I blame the Aries in her). It can be difficult to keep her entertained at times because she wants to be stimulated all the time, although she is also quite the snuggler too. She just started swimming lessons this month, and so far she’s doing amazing. It’s nice to have a structured activity to go to every week, I think it’s important for her development. Everyday when she gets sleepy she crawls into my lap and asks for “CoCo” which is the youtube videos she likes to watch. These are the best moments of my day, when its nice and quiet and I have my warm little love in my lap with a blanket covering us. I think thats all of the important things to update on, because god knows I could go on about her all day if I didn’t stop myself.

I wish I could freeze this time forever, but I also know how lucky I am to get to see my baby grow. The most bittersweet feeling I’ve felt in my life is watching my baby grow up. I am SO blessed that I was chosen to be her mama, and although the days are hard and I mean most days I wouldn’t change anything at all. This is the life I was meant to live, and I will live the rest of my days for her.

Thank you for taking the time to learn a little bit about my baby.
Xoxo, B.

Seasons Change & So Do You

Autumn is approaching fast and I feel a sense of relief. Summer is wonderful, its full of adventure and fun. Summer is the time for falling in love, and staying up until all hours of the night with your friends, dreaming of tomorrow. Although, I was fortunate enough to have my fair share of sleepless summer nights with friends, something didn’t sit right with me. I realize now that it was the guilt, the guilt of not being with A, even when I know she was fast asleep in her cozy bed at grandmas house. As the guilt increased so did the isolation, and I could feel friends slipping away. My close friendships changed over the summer, and it’s something I’m still coming to terms with.

Over the last few months I’ve been so caught up in why my closest friends seem uninterested in our relationship. I’ve had friends seemingly choose me last, in my eyes anyway for quite some time now. I’ve let it get me down more than I’d like to admit, I feel embarrassed. I’ve spent many hours feeling sad about certain relationships, which in turn has made me less present for A, which is the most guilt inducing feeling of them all. Being an Enneagram type 4 means I feel things deeply, and personally. I think I’m going to write a whole blog post about personality types, and astrology but today is not that day. Regardless, I know I tend to take things personally, and I also have a hard time navigating my feelings which requires me to spend more time than I would like with personal reflection. I never want A to suffer at the cost of my emotions.

“I never want A to suffer at the cost of my emotions.”

While I wholeheartedly believe that it’s extremely important to take time to feel through your emotions, I also believe it’s important to not let them consume you. As Autumn approaches I can feel myself letting go. I can feel myself becoming less selfish, and focusing on the more important relationships in my life. Relashionships such as my fiance, my daughter and my family. Friends who build me up, and help me feel secure in myself, rather than making me question if I’ll ever be good enough. I feel lighter, and more emotionally free than I have in months and that is simply because seasons change, and so do we. I will never close the book on any relationship (unless it is genuinely damaging to my health and wellbeing), because who knows what the next season of life will bring, and who I will need in that time.

Autumn will be for family, and making our home more loving, positive and warm. Autumn is for self reflection in the most positive of ways. I truly believe that Autumn will bring the clarity that I’ve been searching for these past months. I feel a shift happening and I’m so excited to see where I’m going to end up. Rather than feeling a sense of longing, and searching for the missing piece, I’m realizing that I have been the missing piece all along. I’ve doubted myself for so long, I haven’t been able to see my true potential for quite some time. Autumn I thank you, I thank you for grounding me, and bringing me back to myself. I feel clear, and I can’t wait to see whats next.

xoxo, B